Late night personal post after the jump

"OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars" (jakeauern) 10/25/2018 at 00:17 • Filed to: None

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My job, life, and everything else.

Just a year and a half in, my job has me in a deep state of depression at work lack of hope that it will get better. I feel like I have gone above and beyond expectations and have been told I have even kept a project worth millions on track. All this while going 15 months with no raise and no hope of promotion. All I can think about is leaving but then I get home and dread going back in the morning. I’ve been told by multiple people that they or the people that they have talked to absolutely want to hire me but budget concerns, and experience are an issue. Oh well. My wife works night so it was easy to turn to alcohol a little more than I should but luckily I can control it unlike some. I just have a beer or two every couple nights because I enjoy the taste. I started playing hockey on Tuesdays to help with the boredom/frustration so that’s been a good release. Just hoping to get more ice time now.

On the automotive writing side, everything is really looking up. RFD has treated me well enough that a connection made through there has gotten me a paying freelance gig. It’s with a well known online publication but I am waiting to announce it as official until an article is published and I get paid. I have talked with some others and they seem interested, but I need to wait for the budgets to come through and the right stories to come up. I should be getting some Mercedes pressers here soon though so that’s fun!

The greyhounds are great, the wife is great, I own a fun car I really enjoy driving, and we’re in a pretty good position financially. I really can’t complain that life is not good, I just wish the place I spend 1/2 my waking time wasn’t enveloping the rest of my life.

If anyone read this far thanks. Oppo is such a great community where I have met many of my best friends. I’ve done drives with Oppo members, I text Oppo members everyday, I play trivia with an Oppo member everyday, I’ve even had Oppo peeps stay in my house on multiple occasions(I see you E90M3 and underSTeerenthusiast). Thank you all for always being there for me and everyone else that just needs a place to vent.

Chuckles > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 00:24

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It's amazing how much your job can influence your entire outlook on life. I switched jobs nearly 2 years ago and it was like a switch went from "miserable" to "happy" overnight. I hope you can find somewhere that's a better fit for you. 

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Chuckles 10/25/2018 at 00:25

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Me too. Like I said, I have opportunities, I just don’t want to move unless it’s the right one.

bob and john > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 00:27

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any time man.

as far as work. maybe bring it up to t he boss. or chat with others and see whats their take on it. if everyone seems to be in the same sort of spot...might be time to explore other avenues

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > bob and john 10/25/2018 at 00:29

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I’ve brought up the raise and was told January . The boss wanted to hear my goals but I just don’t see myself getting out of entry level i am in. No one wants to work where I am so the chance of someone coming in below me seem slim to none. I am just going to get more work added onto me while not getting paid enough and not really learning anything.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 00:29

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Happiness is more important than money. Leave. Take the job that you'll enjoy even if it doesn't pay you what you think you are worth. Being unhappy ruins everything whereas having less disposal income merely curtails options...

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media 10/25/2018 at 00:30

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I just don’t want to have a gap and hate my next job just as much. It sucks, I’m just hoping I can get out of this rut soon.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 00:49

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I didn’t enjoy my last job. The people were great but the work wasn’t interesting anymore. When my partner got a new job in a new town 1000 km away...I embraced the opportunity. And we left.

I haven’t had a pay cheque since the end of February and haven’t been this busy in a long time. Yes I'm a house husband but also now a property developer and land manager. I might not have worked out but it well and truly has...risk/reward

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media 10/25/2018 at 00:51

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I wish I could do that. It would allow me so many opportunities in the field I really like(automobiles and journalism) but I definitely do not have the capital to start. Maybe one day.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 01:31

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Keep it positive as you seek ways out of your current situation!

At the end of the day, we are here and we have the people and pets around us. And the usual questionable content on some car blog...

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media 10/25/2018 at 01:32

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Agreed. As long as you have your health,  a roof and some food, having less money doesn’t preclude happiness.

An unhappy life renders any amount of money worthless.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 01:33

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Best of luck and keep those eyes peeled!

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever 10/25/2018 at 01:36

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Maybe one day I’ll even hate myself to buy unreliable  Italian cars like you! #goals hahaha

Spanfeller is a twat > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 01:38

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T wo things that always gives me some solace when I feel bad are:

1. Our problems are as big as we see them: With this I mean that no matter what is happening around you if something upsets you, you need to figure it out, never feel ashamed of how petty it is, or how small it could be compared to other people’s problems. In a sense that would minimize it and make it worse.

2. Being grateful about the stuff around you: I think we sometimes take things for granted, and it might be where some of our problems being: lack of gratefulness. When we try to be the most grateful, our problems don’t bother us as much and turn easier to solve.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Spanfeller is a twat 10/25/2018 at 01:40

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Thanks bud!

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 01:51

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I wish I could hang with you in person and swap Lexus stories.

pip bip - choose Corrour > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 05:16

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my opinion is start looking for another job

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 10/25/2018 at 08:26

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For 24, I’ve got some.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 09:17

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My wife and I have worked opposite schedules since we started dating. Sometimes it does get a little depressing. I recently have been cutting the sauce because consumption rates had increased beyond what was acceptable.

I know exactly what you mean about hating your job so much that it’s all you can think about. I know what ‘just a drink or two” is. I did eventually get my promotion (be careful what you wish for!) and now work a way, way more stressful job that seems to be causing me to age rapidly . But it’s interesting and it pays for all the things that matter. I now think of it as a necessary evil that I’m coping with much better.

I’m not sure what it is you do, but my promotions/raises took about six years to achieve, all while pretty much loathing eaching day. I often have to look back to remind myself how things have changed, because a day-to-day analysis can feel like stagnation. Perspective, and all that.

There is no sage advice here. Just letting you know you're not alone.

fintail > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 09:27

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Start looking for something else, work to live, not vice versa. Life is too short to let a job drive you to the nuthouse.  When something interesting pops up, take the risk.  

I am assuming relocation is not viable due to the one who must be pleased?  There seems to be plenty of jobs with upward potential out here, just beware the work/life balance (sounds like you’re already in that hell). 

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/25/2018 at 09:36

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I’m an accountant so it is an industry where there should be all of the upward trajectory. If I was getting paid to deal with all the stuff I have to deal with it would be one thing, but everyone has told me I’m underpaid and doing way too much. I’ve had to pull myself back from working harder in the last few weeks because I realized the company really didn’t respect me and other employees the way we work(ed) for it. I have outlasted 3 directors I work w ith, a controller or two, and even a couple people that started Monday and were gone Thursday . I leave for Vegas/SEMA on Wednesday and when we get back I should know if a family friend can hire me and if not, he’s going to help me find a new job.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > fintail 10/25/2018 at 09:39

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All of my friend s and family live here so relocation is definitely a no. It would mess up the one part of my life that is going right haha. I’ve even considered going to Atlanta to work with some guys but it’s too much of a push. Nashville is a great market so it’s probably not me not being able to get a job, but more me barely not being able to get the jobs I really want but am not qualified for

fintail > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 09:45

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I thought every millennial go-getter wanted to move to Seattle - or maybe they are all already here :) I know numerous people who have moved from the SE, I know none who have moved to that region (and didn’t come back in a few years). Family can be tough, but friends always expand.

Maybe set sights on other jobs outside of a narrower list , and move around from there . Sometimes the cure for unhappiness is taking a big risk . I had to make a move to have any hopes of upward momentum, and I don’t regret it, even if I was more than comfortable in the prior location. It’s tough seeing people in roles they hat e.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > fintail 10/25/2018 at 10:18

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I’m definitely open to a lot right now. The optimal seems to be if I can use my accounting experience to sell or consult. I like tal king to people and now it feels like its just me and my internet friends at work.

fintail > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 11:16

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You should become a Toyolex salesman ;)

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > fintail 10/25/2018 at 11:23

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bahah nahhh. I’ll fix them with my parents before I sell them. I’d be better in a high end dealer anyways. 

fintail > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 11:38

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Nah you don’t want a daddyjob, next thing you know you’ll be stealing your way into a crooked real estate empire :)

Lexus isn’t high end enough?  Just think of the demos!

DAWRX - The Herb Strikes Back > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 11:52

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Hey man, I feel compelled to reach out because I was in a similar position b ack in April/May .

Life for the most part was great from the outside looking in , nothing to complain about really, except for the job. I was miserable there, lots was expected of me with little to no appreciation and below average pay for what I was doing. Also the company culture and values did not align up at all with my personal values. There were also some organizational changes being made and a project manager there was maneuvering himself to be my direct supervisor so he could monopolize my time and increase my workloa d (my already thankless workload) I didn’t want to work more, but I especially didn’t want to work more for this guy. I had followed up on a raise I had asked for in December and they denied it again. I was told to “give them some time”. I had no prospects there.

Again, I was miserable. And actually I didn’t even realize how miserable and depressed I was until I got out. It’s stupid. A job shouldn’t ruin your personal life, it should enhance it.

One night I came from work so upset I sent my resume to a competitor. Long story short I got an offer letter 4 weeks later and now I’m making over 64% more. (Sounds impressive but I was pretty underpaid at my last job). I enjoy the work I do more now, and even though I’m working more hours on average, I don’t mind as much because I don’t hate every second I’m there. I have learned a lot and expanded my horizons greatly.

My whole point is don’t shackle yourself to somewhere that makes you miserable. I knew I was depressed, but looking back I don’t know how I d ea lt with that place for so long . I know how it feels to be in that situation , and I know how It feels to feel trapped there. It can be a scary situation, but making moves to get out are so worth it in the end. Y ou aren’t trapped and it can get better.

I sincerely hope things work out for you and you find a path forward.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > DAWRX - The Herb Strikes Back 10/25/2018 at 11:56

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Thanks bud! That’s the hope.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 13:29

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Sorry about your job - congrats on your new gig!

XJDano > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/25/2018 at 20:02

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Keep up the good work.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 10/26/2018 at 09:37

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Take that Gary Vee advice about finding the career that you are excited to be in all the time, the type of profession that you are less excited to go home for the weekend then when you are going into work on Monday morning.

Sending happy feels and bird dog hugs friendo.